Embrace the Process, but Don't Forget to Enjoy the View
To be honest, I am selfishly writing this blog for myself… To be completely transparent, it’s been a long few weeks. The other morning, I was driving to work and was feeling particularly down. I have been working some extremely long days for quite some time now and I have definitely seen my fair share of personal plateaus in all aspects of life… But this seemingly large plateau I have hit recently has been weighing pretty heavily on me. Everyone that knows me knows that I like to push those around me to be better, help people navigate through personal challenges, etc. So I started to think… If I had a friend explaining to me that they felt like this… if they reached out to me asking for advice… what would I tell them? And after looking at it from that perspective, the answer came to me pretty quickly. Slow down & take a step back.
In today’s fast-paced society, the grind is glorified. Grind culture has become a pervasive aspect of modern society, with many people feeling pressured to constantly work hard and achieve more in order to be successful. A lot of people who really embrace this culture, myself included, are always constantly looking for the next challenge, for the next accomplishment. One issue with this lifestyle is that, like most things you work hard at for a prolonged duration, there are plateaus. Plateaus are motivation killers. The daily grind is a lot easier when you are receiving instant gratification or when you are getting proportionally rewarded for your efforts. Real success comes to those who can run into these plateaus, trust the process & continue to push even when they aren’t seeing instant results. Real success comes to those who can push forward long enough without instant gratification, knowing that the delayed gratification of the bigger picture is much more fulfilling. To push through these plateaus, there are a few key things you need to do to be able to sustain your work. A few of these things include but are not limited to, learning to love the process and remembering to step back and enjoy the view every now and then.
The concept of learning to love the process is one that has been preached by personal development figures across the globe for quite some time. If you have ever read any personal development books or listened to any personal development podcasts, you know it’s almost a requirement for them to mention the importance of learning to love the process… and for good reason. A lot of people set goals – Financial goals, fitness goals, personal goals, etc. A majority of these people focus solely on the end goal and disregard all of the processes it will take to get them there. Most people set very difficult goals, which is good, but they underestimate what it will take to get them there, and the processes that will have to be put in place. The road to most goals is long, and most people don’t like to travel that far – at least without some good scenery & music. Learning to enjoy the process is merely giving yourself some scenery & some music on your journey. The unsettling truth of this journey is that the bigger the goal, the longer the road, and the more that the law of diminishing returns kicks in. The law of diminishing returns is an economic theory that at some point, the input level is optimized and the outcome per unit income is not linear anymore. This means that the longer you drive, the more it takes to keep going. Think about it this way… You are setting out on this road trip to your goals, but the states you are driving through have constantly increasing gas prices. The same amount of money you put in the tank at the beginning to get you 400 miles, is not going to get you 400 miles anymore… but if you want to reach your destination, you have to get going. You have to pay for the gas. This extra price later down the road hurts, but it hurts a lot less if you are enjoying the ride more than you are hurt by the payment. You have to learn to enjoy the ride so much that paying for gas doesn’t bother you. In James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits, he mentions another reason why it is important to learn to love the process, rather than focusing on the end goal. He says that “goals restrict your happiness”. When setting goals, everyone has told themselves, ‘When I get X, then I will be happy’. But… if this goal you set is high, as it should be, you are delaying your happiness for quite some time. Clear also says “When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy”. Learn to enjoy the ride, create some scenery on your journey, and give yourself permission to be happy in the interim.
Even when a grinder thoroughly enjoys the process, there are times when the plateaus hit a little harder. When you’re on the road trip, happily paying for the increased gas, but you are driving through mud and the next turn isn’t in sight. One issue that people wired like this typically run into is that they fight like hell to push through the mud, reach their next turn, make the turn, and immediately focus in on the next destination. This is fine every now and then. Most high-achieving people tend to hit one goal, reevaluate, and then set their next one and get to it while forgetting to appreciate the goal they just hit. I am extremely guilty of this. But sometimes, you hit back-to-back-to-back roads that are filled with mud, and the drive gets exponentially tougher. Gas prices are increasing, your car is wearing out from strain so you have to replace some parts, and the next goal you are focused on seems so much further away. In times like these, it is important to park your car, step out and look back at how many mud-filled roads you have driven. If you take a look every now and then at how far you have come, the next road doesn’t seem near as long.
It is easy to get submerged in the minutia of the daily grind. When you are someone who is constantly working, who is constantly ‘on the road’, it is easy to get hyper-focused on the task at hand. When you are focused on the current task or the current road, the immediate view is not always pretty. It’s hard to see the bigger picture from the driver’s seat. But if you step out of the car for a minute and take a look at the view you have created, it makes it much easier to keep driving.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a grinder. There is a lot of honor in being someone who is able to constantly work and not veer from the plan you set out, to keep driving even when gas prices shoot up & the roads get muddy. People who are wired like this are typically the most successful because they do the work that no one else wants to do and that is why they get things that no one else has… But even the best have to be able to take a step back every now and then and appreciate how far they have come. Unfortunately for most people who function like this, this isn’t easy. Being in the driver’s seat is addicting and oftentimes hard to get out of. If you are someone who can’t get themselves out of the driver’s seat, make sure you are road-tripping with some other drivers, and/or inviting along some quality passengers. When riding in a group, there are points along the trip where the ride is tougher for one person than it is for the other. Sometimes the driver who isn’t struggling as hard can pave the way in the road for the one struggling, easing up that particular road for him. Sometimes, the struggling driver needs to stop for a minute and look back, and it will force the accompanying driver to stop every now and then with them to take a look at the view. If you don’t have anyone willing to drive with you, make sure you have some good passengers. Everyone wired like this needs someone in their life that will remind them to pull over every now and then. For example, every now and then I will get frustrated that my car isn’t moving quickly enough, or that the view I’m looking at is pretty crappy despite the mileage I’ve traveled… and my wife will make me step out of the car and take a look back at all of the roads traveled. If you don’t have an Andi to ride with you (my wife), find a friend. Reach out to me if you want. The road to your goals is a long one and can be ugly and lonely if you make it that way. No one wants to drive on a long and ugly road.
Create some scenery on your trip and learn to love the process, not just the end goal. Take a moment every now and then to step out of the car and enjoy the view. These are the keys to staying on the road.
